I Screamed For You
by KristaffJeepers
Summary: This is what happened with Jacob when he ran off in the end of eclipse saying "and Leave Jacob Black Behind Me"
1. Chapter 1

_I Screamed For You_

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_I'm closer to where I started_

_I'm chasing after you…_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held onto_

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_Chapter One: Darkest Forest I've Ever Seen_

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This is my new Fan fiction. I gave up on the other one. I just couldn't find the inspiration to write it… sorry if I'm disappointing anyone. I'm sticking by my Jacob thing though… I love Jacob Black, and if you don't, don't read this. I got a lot of mean reviews on Howl, and I mean… that's fucked up. People need to grow up, people write, its self expression, and if you don't like it. Keep it to yourself. So I mean. Just. If you don't like it… I don't really care… sorry but I don't.

I don't know if anyone will like this one… it's a lot different than the others I've written… I mean... it's a bit depressing… it has cutting in it… and suicide… so if you aren't into that kind of thing… don't read this… but I think maybe a few people will like it… idk though… trial and error… 

This takes place as soon as Jacob says the whole "and Leave Jacob Black behind me" thing

I ran through the woods. It was silent but I knew it wouldn't be for very long. She made her choice. I don't know why I ever tricked myself into believing that she would ever want me. Every limb in my body ached. It felt different in this body. It was more of a physical pain. Every muscle in me ached. I wanted to forget her. But I was scared to. I needed to… but I couldn't… I had to have that hope. In order to have a reason to live. Though I never had a reason as soon as that bloodsucker came back, I should have known that she would forgive his sorry ass… anger felt more raw in this shape. I could feel my head pulsing. I couldn't think. Not about anything but Bella. I realized I was slowing down. Then I was at a dead stop in the middle of nowhere. It didn't matter where I was… my wolf body was tremoring; it wasn't a feeling I was used to. I shook directly into my human form this wasn't something I wanted to deal with in my human form. I was on the ground, tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was hyperventilating through all the sobs that ripped from my chest. This hurt. This must be heart break.

When the sobs stopped I just laid in the dirt tears streaming down my cheeks thinking about all the good times. I hoped when she was a monster that she still remembered me 300 years from now, because I would always remember her. No matter how long I lived I would always remember her mahogany hair, her chocolate brown eyes. The perfect curve to her lips, the softness of her skin. All of it. I would never forget her. And I would never try. She would be the memory of the girl I fell in love with, and now that I knew I wouldn't ever see her again I was falling even more in love with her. I choked a little on a sob and tried to think about something else. But she invaded me again. I could just lay here forever. Never moving. Stop breathing. Nothing mattered at this moment.

As I ran through the woods I thought of mostly depressing things. Things that didn't matter things I'd lost, things I wanted, things I missed, and mostly everything had to do with Bella. Her name sent an odd shiver down my spine. I was home now I could smell it. I don't know why I came back, but I did, I didn't want my father to see me suffer like this, I didn't want my pack brothers to see this, I didn't want anyone to see this. No one but me needed to. I phased. I knew no one was home. And walked to the tiny fading red house. I could smell the light airy scent of Bella she had been here recently, of course she had, she was looking for me. Everyone was, I had learned to successfully only think the things I wanted the pack to know, so not even they knew where I was. I walked in. everything was the same other than there was a small piece of paper on the refrigerator, "Have You Seen This Boy?" this was obviously Charlie's idea everyone knew no one would "see this 'boy'" I crumpled it in my hand and threw it in the garbage. I walked into the bathroom shutting the door behind me and leaning against the wall. Bella grazed my thoughts again. I couldn't go more than 2 minutes without thinking about her. The silence had become home. So it was weird to hear people talking on the beach and cars. I liked the silence. It was easier for me to think. And right now all I wanted, Was to wallow. I played me kissing her in the field before the fight. That's the last memory I had that was worth anything. I looked at my chest it was full of scratches and gashes from running through the woods. Apparently when you're not happy you don't heal to fast. I looked through the medicine cabinet, looking for something but not sure what I was looking for yet. Then I saw it. It caught my eye with a slight glitter. It took my breath away. It was exactly what I seemed to be aching for. My breathing kicked up a notch. I grabbed the tiny razorblade and held it in my hand. The light glittered off its edge subtly. It was sharp. Very sharp. This was something I had never done in my life I had never cut myself or thought about suicide. But right now my body was aching for that tiny silver object. I took it in my other hand and pressed it against my wrist, I knew it wouldn't heal right now, so I pressed down, I felt it cut through a few layers of skin and pulled it across my wrist. Blood spilled out onto the tile I dropped the blade in the sink and held my bleeding arm over the sink. It felt like a relief to do. I felt better, but worse at the same time. I picked up the razorblade and cut myself 4 more times, blood spilled evenly into the sink. I just watched and prayed It would take away some of my pain with it…

I lay in my bed running my fingers over the gashes on my arm it had bled for a long time, but now I could think more clearly. I could think about other things other than the pain and the pain didn't seem like it was as bad. It hurt. And I found tears dripping onto the sheets often. But not nearly as bad as it was. I could hear a familiar sound suddenly. It was my dad's wheels against the street. I contemplated whether to jump out the window and pretend I was never here, but I figured all the blood in the bathroom would scare him. I ran the tips of my fingers lightly over the gashes. I didn't wanna move from this position anyways. The door opened. No human ear would pick it up but I did. Of course I would. I moved my legs further out so they were almost dangling over the bed and rested my hands behind my head. I could hear him wheeling towards the bathroom, I decided to just let him figure out I'm here. Instead of telling him. I heard the door shut and then an audible gasp

"Jake??" I heard him call

"Yep, I'm home dad…" I muttered barley loud enough for him to hear me.

"When did you get home?"

"Hour ago… maybe two."

"Come clean up all this blood." I smiled to myself and stood up and walked into the bathroom there was blood all over the floor, all over the sink all over the tub and a bit on the counter. I grabbed a washcloth and wet it

"So where did you go Jake?"

"Running…" I muttered

"For 2 weeks?"

"Yep."

I wiped it off the counter and then I saw the razorblade sitting on the counter, I could have sworn I put that in my room. I couldn't pick it up if I didn't expect Billy to say something. I kept wiping

"Where did you go?"

"Everywhere…" I wasn't in the mood to talk about it… and apparently he didn't get it.

"Bella's looking for you." I snarled. It was an unexpected sound.

"Whoa Jake… a little touchy?"

I rolled my eyes and got on my knees wiping up the blood on the floor

"What's all the blood from anyways?" Billy finally asked the million dollar question. I sighed and kept cleaning. I didn't want to talk. I had made it for 2 weeks without talking. I think I could make it now. Maybe I should have jumped out the window when I had the chance.

"Jacob?"

"Huh?" I mumbled as I stood up and rung out the rag

"What's all the blood from."

"People bleed." I answered simply

"Well Jake… you're not 'people' you aren't human." I growled. I was human enough. I would have been better for Bella, not that disgusting parasite. I growled deep in my chest again

"Wow you're really grumpy."

"You would be too." I said quietly as I started rinsing out the sink

"What happened to your chest?" He asked. Ooh great… now he's realizing I'm not healing

"You run. You run over bushes." I moved to face to tub and started scrubbing. In a sudden movement his hand was around my wrist pulling it towards him. I pulled it away easily

"What happened to you Jacob?"

"Nothing HAPPENED." I was starting to shake.

"What's this?" I knew without even having to turn around that he was holding the razorblade. _My personal savior_ The Thought was weird to think… but that's what I had now… a blade… nothing else would matter to me… except what I could never have…

"Well. It's a razorblade, some people use them to shave their face, some use them to cut designs into paper, and some of them use them to cut away their pain. Those few people are usually a little on the odd side, but that's okay, because I mean… no one wants their heart broken… huh?" I surprised myself with the amount of words.

"Cut away their pain… Jake don't tell me…."

"Yeah dad, I slit my wrist… 7 times…" I held up my arm

"Jake…"

"Don't 'Jake' me old man. Ooh and tell Bella when you see her I send my love." I said as I walked out of the room I was out the door in the matter of seconds. I didn't know how mad my dad was. But I didn't really care. It didn't really matter. Nothing mattered now. It all stopped the second I touched that razor to my skin.

_My Personal Savior…._

_My__ Personal Sun…_


	2. Chapter 2

_I Screamed For You_

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_I try to remember to forget you_

_But I break down every time I do_

_It's left me more than zero_

_Being down and bruised…_

_Cuz everywhere I look I can see how you hold him_

_How long till this goes away??_

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_Chapter 2: Left with nothing in the world_

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A/N: How are you liking it so far… don't forget to review… I always wanna know what your thinking… Advice? I'm still writing it all up so let me know! REVIEW!!!!!!

I walked slowly through the woods. Bella was at my house again. What surprised me in this? She knew I wouldn't come back. She hoped I would but she knew. I didn't understand why she didn't just go off and be happy with her damn leech… she wanted him soooo bad, why not go be happy with the murderer now?? I sat down underneath a tree and stared at my arm. At all the scars and wounds that she had carved into me with every move she made. I had an unnecessary countdown until the day she gave her life away to the bloodsucker. Seth was going. He wanted me to go with too, but I knew it wasn't a good idea to watch the whole un-natural process go on. Its like marrying a heap of mashed potatoes… you eat them. Its dinner. He'd probley just end up killing her in the process of changing her. I involuntarily shivered. I could see red. I didn't wanna phase, Leah was there… Leah was ALWAYS there… her and her bitter thoughts, hating Emily, I could see where she was coming from though. so I tried to avoid her, so I couldn't sympathize with her. I didn't wanna feel sorry for anyone but myself. I dug through my pockets until I found the silver object I was looking for. It had become a ritual of sorts for me. Every time I felt bitter I would just drag it across my arm a few times until I was numb to whatever it was that was bothering me… I watched the blood drip down onto the leaves and debris underneath me. Nothing seemed to surprise me anymore. Not even the amount of blood. It seemed like death would almost help me right now. I decided to listen to everything in the wilderness. I listened to the people inside houses, I wasn't that far from home. I never was, I listened to people at the beach. It was rough water today I could hear the tide slamming against the rocks, I could hear people yelling to each other, I could hear birds, deer, dogs, cats house animals, wild animals, and cars. I was listening so hard that the sudden start of a familiar vehicle startled me. It was Bella. I knew it was. I pushed hard to keep my body in the same shape, the red fog smoldered around my entire body trying to find an entry to make me into what made me inhuman. I fought against it. I could hear her voice

"Well if you see him… Tell him…" I didn't want to listen so I childishly put my hands over my ears humming to myself. I didn't wanna know anything she had to say. The red fog shimmered over my entire body I was tremoring so hard that the tree behind me was quivering. I closed my eyes and moved my hands to my temples

"I will Bella, and he will come home…" and with that I blew up into a wolf I put my head back and howled so loud it hurt my own ears. I took off running. This is the last time I would be anywhere near when Bella was around. I didn't wanna hear what she had to say, and I didn't wanna know that she was in La Push, I wanna just pretend she's dead, she will be in less than a week, the filthy leech would slip up and kill her, all for his own thirst…

_Jake… please come home. I know your there… we all heard you… please… Billy misses you, and so does the pack… everyone wants you back… _I heard Sam's voice. Didn't they understand that I wanted silence… I wanted my own head? I wouldn't have phased if it hadn't have been forced upon me. I didn't even wanna be this monstrosity…

_I'm not going home… you all can stop worrying, stop missing me… its all over… I'm staying gone. I cant go back…_

_But you can… we all want you back… please Jake… please come back_

_I'm not going anywhere…_

_Bella misses you._

_I don't care…_

_Yes you do… I know you do._

_I don't care if she misses me… she chose the bloodsucker, now let her have him. Tell her to just leave me alone. I don't need her as a baby sitter. I don't need anyone… I have what I need. _

_Jacob…_

_Just leave me alone._

I ran as fast as I could through the woods, ignoring the thoughts of everyone elses… it was hard to concentrate with everyone thinking about me… I stopped and phased out. I didn't wanna hear their thoughts about missing me and worrying about me… and all their sentimental shit. I sat down next to a tree and pulled out my blade, one for hearing her voice, one for hearing Billy's promise to tell me and one for phasing unwantedly all I could hear here was my own thoughts and the sounds of the deep woods. I closed my eyes and drifted away with sleep

When I woke I was laying on the cold ground. There was dried blood on my arm and a mud caked razorblade laying next to me. I picked it up and wiped off the bloody mud and put it in my pocket. I didn't wanna run, but I didn't wanna just sit. So I stood up and started walking through the woods it was dark now I didn't know how long I had slept but it didn't really matter when I had nothing else to do anyways. There was a light summer breeze I looked up the stars were perfect tonight. 15 days. I thought to myself. It didn't matter. But it did all in the same. It shouldn't matter. But it did… the constant ache in my wrist reminded me that it mattered to me… deep inside it mattered. Because no matter where I looked, no matter what I thought she was ever present in my mind. She was always there. Haunting, screaming, no matter what I did I would never forget her, there was nothing that mattered to me more than her. nothing, I repeated to myself. I phased and started running through the woods. I didn't know where I was going. But I knew I wanted to go there… further from her? closer to her? did it matter?

_Jacob… _It was Leah

I ignored her and ran faster why did she have to be here every damn time I phased? Couldn't I just run all by myself in silence

_That's what I wanted too Jacob. I wanted to run away, be alone. But it never helped… nothing did…_

Wait… why could she hear all this?

_I can hear it because your weaker than you were when this first started… your loosing Jacob Black… your becoming someone else_

Good that's what I wanted… wasn't it? I wanted to be a wolf, just a wolf, choose this form over the other.

_It will never work Jacob…_

_Ooh Jesus Christ… could you just shut the fuck up? I wanna run in silence… do you not get it?_

_I get it plenty… but I know from experience that its never gonna work. Have you forgotten who you are… What you are? You are a protector. You should be with the rest of the pack protecting… and no matter what you will never be in silence… because there has to be someone watching over the tribe. Since apparently you don't give a damn._

_I'm not… not anymore… and I give a damn… just… I'm not willing to dedicate my entire life to it anymore…_

_It was what you were born to Jacob…_

_I don't care… people are born to fame and riches everyday, and not all of them take to it…_

_Whatever Jacob… do what you want… wallow over her… whatever… she will be dead soon enough_

I decided not to answer. So I concentrated on her not hearing everything I said. I stopped and phased that was the only way I could know for sure she couldn't hear what I was thinking. I leaned against the nearest tree dug out the only thing that mattered and cut myself. This was what my life consisted of now. Nothing else should really matter.


	3. Chapter 3

_I Screamed For You_

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_I'm in the middle of a break down_

_Watching you scream_

_In the middle of a breakdown _

_Screaming at me_

_Speechless and frozen_

_Uncomfortable silence again_

_What did I do to make a scene so gory?_

_I'm not better than the ones before me…_

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_Chapter 3: She said it… _

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REVIEW on the last segment! Pleez! It would make me so very happy! This is the last free chapter… I will post more if I get some reviews… so be happy. And don't forget to review! 

I contemplated as I got closer to the small house. I knew I shouldn't be here. I knew I shouldn't have even thought it. I knew it was a bad Idea. But I did it anyways… because I'm stupid. I knew I was too. I knew she wasn't home. Her truck was gone so I didn't know what I was so worried about. It was the note in my back pocket. I stopped at the front door. And thought. No one was home. This isn't a good idea. Come on Jacob. Just do it. I urged myself. I grabbed the spare key unlocked the front door replaced the key and walked in. I could smell Bella. The strawberry of her hair, the fresh scents that blew off her every time there was a breeze. And the distinctive scent of vampire. Just a reminder that this is a bad idea. Come on. I wasted all that time if I don't give her the note now. I climbed the stairs up into her bedroom. It was just how I remembered it. With the bed perfectly made with her purple bed spread, the ancient computer set up on a wobbly desk. Everything was the same. I smiled a bit to myself. I could smell his scent undiluted in here. He had been here. Less than an hour ago. I closed my eyes for a minute and focused on Bella's scent. I could feel my heart beating differently. It always did when I thought about her. I loved her. Too much. It was unfair. I knew I loved her more. And I knew I could give her so much more than he could. I could give her a life. I could age with her. Give her a family. Everything a normal couple should have. But she was giving it all up for 'immortality' so she could be a killer too. I grabbed the note from my back pocket and read it one last time.

Bella,

Stop looking for me… I'll come back after you and your "husband" are gone. I will come back when you aren't here. I don't need this. I shouldn't have to deal with it day by day but I do. I have to know you chose him. Every day. Every day I have to worry about your mortality. This isn't something I ever wanted.

I want to see you one last time. One more memory, then I will lock you away forever. Meet me at First Beach in La Push as soon as the suns down… if you don't show up… I'll get it…

I Miss you Bella… A lot…

--Jacob

I folded the bloodied page back up and set it on her pillow and jumped out her window and ran into the woods. No going back now.

As I paced through the woods I thought about her. Her face, her skin. Her eyes. All of it. It left me gasping for air against a tree. Now I knew why she always gripped at her sides when she thought about her parasite. I refused to think his name. It didn't matter. She was 'his', his little meal. I laughed UN comically at the thought. The sun would be going down in about an hour. I didn't know if she would show. I figured she would. She hadn't been to my house to talk to Billy today. I paced some more through the woods. I had no idea where I was really. I knew I had been here before though I could smell my blood. Which sent me aching for my razorblade. But I didn't have the will to do it right now. I just wanted to think. it had been silent in my head for the last few days. Leah probley went and told them all that I wasn't gonna protect the tribe. Why do it? There's nothing to worry about as soon as the Cullen's are gone. 14 days… I choked a little on the sob that suddenly ripped through me. tears streamed down my face. As I thought about it. The realization that I wouldn't ever see her after this. That all I could ever have of her is the memory, which would fade with time. But I would always love her the same. I wouldn't ever see her after this visit. If she came. I had already gotten my hopes up. I knew that was a bad idea. But I had. I knew the minute I met her, I should have just not tried. I knew she liked that idiot Cullen. But I never thought it would turn into anything more than just a crush. I told her what he was. Without even knowing that it was true, if I could have just shut my mouth, she wouldn't know and they wouldn't be together anymore. And I could have been there… for her. For everything. If the future seeing little leech wouldn't have ever come back this wouldn't be a problem, she would still be with me in my garage. I knew I shouldn't miss her like this. It wasn't healthy. But I didn't care. With every moment she was gone I got colder. I can't even pretend that this will go away in time I knew it wouldn't. This isn't just some teenage crush…

The sun was almost down the seconds were ticking away. I didn't wanna disappoint her. I didn't want her to know I was suffering. I had to fake it. And I had to fake it good. I knew it would be hard. Considering that I hadn't even tried to fake it when I was alone. I could stop and break down whenever I needed. I could stop and bleed whenever I had to… I could stop and do whatever was necessary. But I had to look normal to her. She couldn't know I was in as much pain as I was. As I was thinking I was interrupted by a familiar sound. I could hear her engine. I choked on the rising lump in my throat. And swallowed hard. I couldn't break down. I couldn't. I had to fight against the pain. No matter what. Even if she showed up and said she hated me. Said mean and hurtful things. I had to just fight. Seem strong then I could go where ever I needed to and I could break as hard as I wanted to. Bleed to death. Whatever I needed. The engines roar died. And I heard her open and close her door. Then she was walking. I fought the urge to get up and run. I wasn't sure if I could hold it together. But I had to try. I needed to try harder than I was right now. I couldn't even let myself doubt. I could hear the clatter of the rocks hitting the bottom of the cliff below. I pushed my hair out of my face and practiced breathing. This would be just like every other time I saw Bella. Only it was actually goodbye this time. There wouldn't be another time to say what I had to say. And I had to except that. And let her go. She wanted him. She was happy with him. I should just let what was meant to be… be…


	4. Chapter 4

I Screamed For You

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I told myself I won't miss you

But I remember what it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face

And the way your innocence tastes

And I think you should know this…

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Chapter 4: Last Chance to get away…

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A/n I'm feeling kinda random… so I hope you like the story… it doesn't have a whole lot of dialog yet… but I think it will… depends on how the meeting with Jacob and Bella goes… which I haven't decided yet… I just write as it comes to me… lmao. No editing other than spell check… just raw and written… so I hope you guys like it… please review!

"Jacob?" I heard her say from behind me

"Yeah… it's me Bells…"

"Ooh thank god, I was getting so worried about you… none of the pack members knew where you were and no one had seen you or talked with you… I was so worried about you Jake…"

"I'm Fine…." _Fine as someone who got ditched for their moral enemy. _I added mentally. I refused to turn and see her face till I absolutely had to. I hear her walking closer to me she sat down next to me. It wasn't very dark out tonight.

"Are you coming back now?"

"No…" I answered her I looked at her face finally. She looked the same only tired.

"Billy's worried…"

"Yeah. I know… everyone is… I've been told… daily…" She smiled at me and ran her fingers through my hair, I shivered at her touch… I wanted her to touch me again like that, but I banished the thought… she didn't want me like that.

"You gonna let it grow out?"

"Yeah… probley…" I answered her. I shook my hair out it was to my shoulders now. My heart felt funny… with her here… I didn't hurt. I was suddenly very aware of my arm. I pulled it closer to my body and held it there with my other hand. I didn't want her to notice.

"Are you okay Jake… Honestly?"

The question puzzled me in ways… I didn't wanna answer truthfully. But I didn't wanna lie to her… it didn't make any sense I wanted her to feel bad and leave the bloodsucker for me… but I knew she wouldn't… I knew she would stand by her murderer for all of eternity. But I loved her more, and I was better for her. But she didn't see that. She was stuck in her mind set that he loved her. He loved her because she smelled good, and he couldn't see into her mind. She was something he had never encountered. And in the midst of it he fell in love with her.

"Jake?"

"Ooh… sorry… I spaced…" I stuttered.

"Are you?"

"Do I have to tell the truth?" I muttered. I meant to think the words… but I didn't regret them after they were out.

"Yeah… you do…"

"No…" I answered honestly.

"Can I help?"

"You could… but you won't…" I said truthfully again. Her lips twitched a little.

"Why won't I?" She didn't get what I was saying…

"I'll always love you more… I want you to choose me… but I know you won't… I don't even know why I asked you to come here… It was stupid of me to think that this would help anything. I knew it wouldn't… but I tried anyways. I was right though. It was a bad idea… I should just let you go home… you have better things to do than to sit here with me… go plan your wedding Bells…" I stood up and went to walk into the woods she grabbed my hand

"Please don't leave Jake… I wanted to talk to you…"

"We talked… there's no new news… I mean… I don't care what your wedding colors are… and I mean that's all you have going on right now… so I mean… just go be happy with Edward and live your life… I shouldn't have written to you…" I pulled my hand away from hers and walked away into the woods. Her face weakened me. Everything screamed inside me to go back to tell her. To scream it from the rooftops. But I didn't matter to her. Not much… she was in love with me… but it didn't make a difference… it made enough of a difference that it made it harder to let go of her. I fought myself. I wanted to go back. But I knew I shouldn't. It was a bad idea. This whole thing was a bad idea. All of it. I shouldn't have ever given her that note. I should have just let her get married. Now my last memory of her was worse than the other. I needed one last memory. One last thing that would be ours. Something that her bloodsucker would never have. Something that would purely and truly be mine. Forever. I bolted out of the woods but she was gone. I ran all the way to the parking lot. But all I saw was her truck pulling out onto the street. My last chance was gone. That would forever be the last memory I would have of her. The tears behind her lids, the pained look. She really wanted me to stay.

"Jacob!" I heard my name be yelled, I turned. It was Quil. I rolled my eyes. And strode over to him

"Are you coming back yet?"

"No…"

"Did you talk to Bella…? I saw her leave…"

"Yeah…"

"She looked really upset…about whatever you said… What DID you say?"

"Nothing… not really anything that mattered."

"Ooh… so you're not coming back?"

"No… Well… maybe… I don't know…"

"We miss you bro…."

I looked at the ground

"I know you guys do…" I mumbled

"I won't tell anyone I saw you…"

"Thanks Quil…" I said as I strode off into the woods. I looked back and he was still standing there watching me walk away. As soon as I hit the tree line I phased and started running through the woods. There was no one but me right now. So I could think about whatever I wanted to… I hurt her. I made her upset. I should have just said what I had to say and not beat around the bush. I said it in a way. But I didn't say everything I wanted to say. I ran as fast as I could through the woods I knew where I was going this time. But the only thing was, was I doing the right thing? I ad to say it… even if it took all my might. And everything I had I had to do it… it was the only way I could get even a little bit of peace of mind.


	5. Chapter 5

I Screamed For You

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In my darkest state of mind

I am riddled with despair

When I try and close my eyes

Your voice is all I hear

I will think of you tonight

I will hold back all my tears…

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Chapter 5: Now it's changing everything

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Author Note: How are you liking it??? REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!! I'm writing this on a limb so tell me what you think… I really like it… so I hope you guys too… after all what's the point in writing something that no one's gonna read?? So review!

Okay Jacob you can do this. You want to see her. you want to talk to her. you love her. you need to just do this… he's not here yet so you have your chance… don't blow it. I sad to myself as I climbed the side of the house. I pushed myself in the window Bella was asleep.

"Bella…" I said quietly as I moved to her bed and sat at the edge she opened her eyes

"Jacob?"

"Hi Honey…" I said she pushed herself up

"Jake what are you doing here?"

"I came to say I'm sorry about earlier… I just… I lost my temper…"

"its 5 in the morning."

"I know. I'm sorry for waking you…"

"Its okay…" She said as she reached over and turned on the light next to her bed she took in my entire body

"Jeez Jake… you need a home… you look like you've been though hell."

"to say the least." I said with a faked laugh

"So you're here to say sorry?"

"Yeah… and other things…" I said as I looked down at my hands. I picked at them nervously for a minute

"Go ahead Jake… you know you can tell me anything…"

"I know I can… I just don't know if I should…" I whispered the second half shrugging my shoulders.

"you should…" she said to me

"I doubt its gonna help anything…"

"just spit it out." She said with a genuine smile

"I love you… I want you… I think you should choose me… not him, I'm so much better for you than him… there's nothing you could ask for that I wouldn't try to give you… I love you… with every cell in my entire body… I'm more natural for you… if you choose him your giving up so many things… you know it too. I cant stand my life without you in it… I cant breathe… I cant think… I cant do anything… I want you… so bad it hurts… every fiber of my being needs you… I cant try to fake it with you… I love you so much Bella, I cant forget you, no matter how hard I try… please… Bella… just… don't do this…"

"I love him… I cant just 'stop' I have to do this Jake… I love you too… but-"

"But what Bella? am I not rich enough for you? Am I not good looking enough for you? What is it… please tell me…"

"Its not about the money… and its not the looks… its… just… I don't know what it is…"

"See you don't even know what you like about him!" I was shaking a little bit.

"I do know what I like about him… I like him… everything about him… the way he talks to me… everything he's so sweet."

"And I treat you badly?"

"No you don't Jake…"

"Well why don't you want me then… I just don't understand this…"

"its not that…. I do… I love you… and you know that… its just not enough…"

"So you love him more?"

"not exactly…"

"So what is it?"

She sat silently for a minute… she was thinking. I looked down at my wrist and then flipped it over so she wouldn't notice it. I didn't want her to know still. I choked a little on the lump in my throat it rose and rose and rose, I swallowed hard and then looked to Bella. she looked disgusted…

"Please say something." I muttered

"I don't know what it is. Okay? I love you both… this isn't helping anything… I know its hurting you more… I know it. I can see the pain deep in your eyes. I know how your feeling. I know what its like"

"Why would you do it to me then?"

"One will get hurt in the end either way Jacob."

"So I get to be the lucky one?"

"No…"

"Well obviously I do… if your not choosing me… I do…"

"I don't know… I never meant to hurt you, I knew it would… but I didn't mean it to…"

I felt a tear fall over my eyelid. I wiped it before she could see it.

"Whoa… what happened there Jake?" she said as she grabbed my arm I cleared my throat

"Can we continue this meeting tomorrow?" I asked trying to change the subject

"Uh… sure?" she said I took my arm away and kissed her on the cheek and jumped out the window. I phased and ran instantly into the trees. Smooth… very smooth I thought sarcastically at myself. I decided it was time to go home. I needed a shower. And I needed new clothes. I ran to my house phased and walked in. my dad was in the kitchen drinking coffee

"Hey Dad…" I muttered as I walked towards the bathroom

"Jake?"

"No… its Miles… no duh… its me.."

"Are you coming home now?"

"No… I'm getting some clothes and then I'm taking a shower. I might eat…"

"have you eaten at all?"

"A bit…"

"Bella said she saw you, earlier…"

"She called you?"

"Yeah… she sounded pretty broken up… you shouldn't just walk away like that…"

"Ooh well." I said as I walked to my room grabbed some cut off sweats and walked to the bathroom. I turned on the shower all the way to hot and got in washing off all the dirt and dried blood. I Stood under the water just letting it pour over my body… I had been in there about an hour when I heard the phone ring.

"hello…" I heard my dad answer it.

"Yeah he's here Bella."

"Yeah I'll tell him. I don't know if he will or not…"

I tuned him out and went back to showering. As soon as I was clean again I got out and slipped on my shorts and shook out my hair. I walked out into the living room

"Bella Called."

"I know." I said as I picked up the phone and dialed her number

"Hello?" it was Charlie

"Is Bella There?"

"Yeah… who's this?"

"It's Jacob Black." I said

"Jake? Your back?"

"Yeah… I'm not staying though…"

"Where are you going?"

"South… down to my aunts." I lied smoothly.

"Ooh… does Billy know?"

"Yeah… he does…"

"Well hold on… BELLA!!!!" I could hear her run down the stairs in the background

"Its Jake" He said handing her the phone

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella… you called?"

"Yeah. I did. I wanted to know when we were meeting again."

"Uh… is now okay?" I said quietly enough that Billy wouldn't hear me.

"Yeah… I'll be up in 15 minutes… where?"

"Here…" I knew Billy was leaving for the Clearwater's in about 10 minutes.

"Alright… I'll see you then…"

I hung up and walked into the kitchen

"Are you leaving?" he asked

"Not right now… I'm gonna eat and then I'm gonna leave…"

"So you stopped to shower and change your clothes?"

"Yeah."

He rolled his eyes at me

"I'll be at the Clearwater's if you have anything to say."

"Have fun." I said sarcastically. He rolled out I sat down on the couch and observed my arm. Some were healing. Some weren't. I wondered how long it would take to heal. I couldn't remember the last time I got hurt when I was a human.

I heard her truck pull in. I walked out on to the porch to meet her.


	6. Chapter 6

I Screamed For You

****

There's nothing good about goodbye

I could swear I saw you cry…

Just say goodbye

Just Say Goodbye

****

Chapter 6: Nothing but everything to say

****

"So I mean… don't you care even a little?" She asked

"About the bloodsucker possibly being sad?"

"Yeah…"

"Well I mean… that's not my problem. I mean… I know what it feels like so I mean… I wouldn't want him to have to suffer like that, but I don't wanna have to suffer either…" I muttered as I looked at her. She had been here for about an hour and it hadn't changed much. But it felt better to tell her what she had done to me.

"So what happened to your arm?" I knew she had noticed a long time ago. But I didn't wanna talk about it.

"I… uh… is this one of those things that you can just assume what happened?" I asked

"Well according to your behavior on it… you cut it… yourself…"

"Yeah…"

"Why?"

"Depressed… I didn't know what else to do…"

"I thought you healed fast…"

"Not when I'm depressed."

"Ooh."

"Can we change the subject?" I asked

"Yeah… sure…"

"There's something… something that I can't stop thinking about…"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter…"

"Just tell me Jake… don't close up on me now."

"Can I kiss you…. Before you answer me… think about it… just so I have a good memory… something I can call my own… something that I can remember you with, something you were totally willing for… something I didn't trick you into… please…"

She looked at her hands and nervously picked at them I knew she would most likely say no but I had to hope she would say yes… I could hear her heart accelerate in her chest

"Yes… Kiss me…"

"Really?" I asked

"Yeah…" I smiled. I couldn't help but smile. I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. Her lips were soft like mine. She moved her hands into my hair and she clutched me closer to her. She parted her lips and I followed her. My tongue moved into her mouth I pressed her gently backwards onto the couch kissing her slowly. I moved back so she could breathe and kissed a trail down her neck and down her v-neck shirt. I stopped at her breast and moved back to her lips. She kissed me back holding me to her I shifted my weight so I was on top of her. She pulled away for a minute to breathe. She leaned into me kissing me on the lips again and entangling her small hands deeper into my hair. Everything was spinning around me. I couldn't think about anything that wasn't Bella. She seemed to be the only thing that mattered to me right now. She had always been the only thing that mattered… she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer to her. I didn't know what she wanted. But obviously she wanted me to kiss her more. So I kept kissing her. I could hear her heartbeat accelerating more and more. I pulled back and let her catch her breath I kissed a trail down her and unbuttoned her shirt down to her stomach and kissed a trail all the way down her stomach. A sudden ringing of a familiar song derailed me. Stupid cell phones. I had wanted one up until now ( Incase you were wondering the song was Buckcherry Don't Go Away) Bella moved under me and answered her mood ruiner.

"Hello?"

"Hello Bella…" A female answered back

"Ooh, hey Alice… I was gonna tell you, but I figured it wouldn't be a big surprise considering I was down here every day anyways."

"No, I thought that we were gonna go look at bridesmaid dresses as the one thing that we do together in planning the wedding."

"Ooh… sorry… cant we do this later… I'm here with Jacob… and I just… we need to catch up…"

"Sure… how bout when all the stores are CLOSED?" the leech sounded pissed off.

"Alice… we still have 13 days… we can do it another time… I'm not sure if me and Jake have another time…"

"Fine… I understand Bella… take your time…" she sounded sincere. She snapped the phone shut and looked at me guiltily

"That was a wonderful distraction… now maybe you should just go home…" I muttered as I sat up onto my own side of the couch turning on the TV. Her heart was still beating erratically

"Jacob…"

"Yep that sure is my name…" I muttered bitterly.

"You do this every time something doesn't go exactly your way…"

"And you think that this meeting has gone my way Bella? all we've managed was for me to tell you I'm in love with you… and you rejected me… like always… and we've managed to figure out why I have marks on my arm, and we've managed to realize that I'm depressed… so I mean… what went my way? My 1 minute of a kiss?"

"I don't want you to just walk off like you did last time…"

"Walk off to where? I have no where that holds me… nowhere but here with you… and this will be at an end soon anyways, you want to get back to your beloved disgusting leech anyways."

"Ooh my god Jacob, EDWARD!"

"Beloved disgusting leech… Edward… better?"

"Ugh you will never get it will you?"

"No… I just don't see what you see in him… I mean… I know he's 'nice' to you and treats you good and all this and all that… but I mean… you can't have a lot of things with him. He'll kill you in these most natural things of life. He could kill you even by trying to just give you a hug, he could kill you in a kiss like we just had, he could kill you having sex… you ever thought about it? And girls bleed their first time… so that's a double whammy there… how could you want him and not me? I just don't understand it… I could be the natural path your life could take… I could be there for you… forever…"

"My sex life is none of your business Jacob Black." Obviously there was something to that if it's the one thing she pulled out of the many things I just pointed out

"So you plan on having sex with him while you're human?"

"It's none of your business."

"You do…"

"It's what married people do on their honeymoon."

"He's not PEOPLE!!!"

"Yes he is… and if were gonna point fingers on who's human and whose not… you shouldn't be talking…"

"I'm human enough…" I mumbled the words and ran my fingers over my arm I looked at the floorboards. She was quiet, she knew that hurt. But in a way I guess she was right.

"Jacob?" she said quietly. I didn't answer her. I had nothing to say. I pushed my hair out of my face and stood up

"Maybe you should go Bells…"

"Jacob… I didn't… I'm so sorry."

"It's fine… just… I'm not in the mood to talk anymore." I mumbled shaking my head

"Jacob… please… I knew this would happen… I don't wanna leave… I want to talk to you…"

"You don't exactly recover from an argument very well… just… I guess this will have to be enough for me."

"Enough for what?"

"Goodbyes…"

"Goodbye Jacob?"

"Yeah… that's my intention…"

"I don't want this to be goodbye."

"Your gonna be one of them in less than 2 weeks… It's time for goodbye anyways.

"Jacob…"

"Don't… just… don't make this any harder than it already is…" I mumbled the words almost inaudibly

She sighed

"I don't want this to be goodbye… I want to see you again."

"But you won't… you are becoming the very thing that makes my hair stand on edge… the thing that triggers the instincts to kill. You are becoming a vampire. Something that I can't love anymore. I have to just… forget everything… stop hoping… just… give up… something that I have been so reluctant to do… because I still thought that there would be hope… but there isn't… there's nothing that could change your mind. And it's about time that I accept that. And deal with it. I love you Bella. With everything I am… and nothing will ever change how I feel about you right now. No matter what you are I will always love you… it's just… as soon as you become one of them I have to accept that I will never be able to call you mine."

"I love you Jacob."

"I love you too… so much… I don't think that you will ever know how much I do love you…" I turned to face her. She was standing up there was tears that stained her cheeks

"So this is it…" Bella said quietly

"Yeah…" she walked closer to me and wrapped her soft arms around me. I hugged her back I could feel the tenseness in her body. She was fighting not to cry she pulled back and looked at me one more time. I knew what I looked like. I looked like this most of the time now. Vulnerable, hurt. All of it… this was it. No more anything. I had that one last kiss to hold onto for the rest of how ever long I lived. She turned and walked silently out the front door. I heard her truck start. (A/N the Song Never Think on the Twilight Soundtrack Would be PERFECT for the mood of this song!)


	7. Chapter 7

_I Screamed For you_

_****_

_I'll tell you one last time_

_I don't wanna know it s over_

_So save your goodbye kiss_

_I don't wanna know it's over…_

_****_

_Chapter7: Something He Will Never Have._

_****_

AUTHOR NOTE: How do you like it?? This chapter should be good… I'm pretty excited… there's not too many chapters left in this story. So REVIEW! 

My head was spinning this couldn't be it… I still wanted more. I had what he had. He would kiss her like that many times, he could touch her like that whenever, and that was just the lucky time I got to… I wouldn't again. I couldn't let this be it… I couldn't let this be the last memory of her. I bolted out the front door her truck was gone. I phased and chased after her. I didn't care who saw me change. I didn't care about exposure. It didn't matter. I chased after the truck. And caught up with her in the matter of seconds. She was pulled over and slouched over the wheel sobbing. I had a feeling this wasn't the first time I had done this to her. I put my head back and howled it even sounded pained to my ears. She turned her head and saw me standing in the ditch, and opened the door and approached me

"Jacob?" She choked out my name. I whined quietly.

"What are you doing?" I shook my head and bowed it low to the ground

"Jake… phase…" I shook my head… I couldn't. I blew out of my pants. I motioned towards my house and walked closer to her. She started for a second and took a step backwards and then walked to me she set her hands on my face and kissed the tip of my nose

"Do you want me to come back to the house with you?" She asked quietly

I barked a little and took off running to the house. I phased in the cover of woods and then ran to my window and jumped in and put on a pair or cut off shorts and a shirt. I heard Bella's truck pull in and park I walked to the front door and she got out shyly and walked to the door

"I'm sorry Bella." I said quietly

"s'okay" she said quietly as she wiped her eyes I pulled her close to me and hugged her tight

"I…. can't… breathe…" she managed to get out

I let go and smiled at her.

"Why so happy now?"

"Your back…" I said as I pulled her into the house and turned off the TV…

She sat down on the couch and I sat next to her

"Bella… can I ask you something?"

"Of course…"

"Can I please kiss you again? It's just… I want something that you and Edward can never share while you're human… and… I know he can't kiss you like I can…"

"Jacob… I—"

"I know I know… you love him… but… you love me too… and I need something I can hold onto when you're not around anymore…. Please Bella."

She thought for a moment and scooted closer to me and turned my face to hers kissing me square on the lips. My lips moved with hers. I knew the only kiss she had had like this was the one we had just shared earlier. I moved her back and pushed her down so I was on top of her again. I supported all of my weight off of hers so I didn't get her too hot. She pulled back to breathe and I went back to where I was last time I unbuttoned her shirt all the way down and pushed it off her shoulders she pulled me up to her mouth and kissed me on my lips a few times it didn't matter if she lost control with me and it didn't matter if I held her too close. I could never hurt her. And he could. She parted her lips and I moved my tongue into her mouth. She was startled by the movement but followed everything I did. I slid the shirt off her shoulders and moved down kissing her all over her collarbone and shoulders. She was breathing hard.

"Jacob"

"Hmph?" I said as I moved down her body to her stomach

"This isn't a good idea."

"Yes it is." I mumbled as I moved back up to her lips I touched her face gently and she moved her arms to encircle my chest. I kissed her as gently as I could manage but more than the filthy bloodsucker would be able to give her. Everything was speeding up; I wasn't sure if it was just me... or if things were actually speeding up. A sudden groan escaped her lips as I kissed her. I smiled to myself kissing her harder. I moved my body so she would be more comfortable, I could feel her hand slipping up the back of my shirt touching my bare skin. I grabbed the front of my shirt and slipped it over my head. I touched the bare skin of her stomach and I could feel her stomach twitch underneath my touch.

"Jake… stop…" I moved my lips away from hers but I didn't stop kissing her. I moved down and kissed a trail all the way down her to the top of her bra

"Jacob… I… I can't do this…"

"Do what?" I mumbled

"This…"

I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She kissed me back

"It seems like you want to do 'this' though." I said as I kissed her on the lips again, then I figured out what I could have that Edward could never have of hers when she was human at least. Something she had wanted. Something she had mentioned

"Bella… I have a question again."

"Go ahead Jake."

"Let me make love to you." I mumbled as I kissed her on the right side of her mouth

"Jake…"

"You want to… and I can guarantee I won't hurt you in it… please Bella… this is what I need… something that I can always remember you by… this one thing… it can be my last memory of you…" I stared deep into her chocolate brown eyes

"Jacob…" she said my name so quietly that I didn't even know if she meant to say it. Her eyes raked over my chest and up to my face again

"It will help you?"

"Yea… it will… You know I won't hurt you… then you get your last human experience, without the danger…"

She swallowed hard and leaned up kissing me on the lips

"Make love to me Jacob Black…"

I moved my arm under her knees and carried her to my bedroom. I laid her down on the bed and moved quickly on top of her. Kissing her all over she slipped her shirt all the way off and threw it to the farthest corner of my tiny bedroom. Her hands explored hungrily all over my body… she wanted this I could tell by the way her heart was beating. I moved slowly down to her pants and unzipped them and unbuttoned them pulling them off and slipped her panties off with them kissing her lightly on her thigh she slipped off her bra and I moved my hands up to cup her breasts a moan escaped her perfect lips as she shivered. I knew she wasn't cold, that was impossible, it was at least 90° outside and I ran at a warm 109°. She moved her hands all over my back memorizing my shape and texture, and then moved to my abs and chest. It sent a moan through her body to feel my body. I knew I had a better body then the parasite, he was pale and skinny, and I was golden and muscled. She pulled me to her lips and kissed me, she wanted this badly. I decided to draw it out as long as possible so I could have more time with her

"Jacob…" She said my name quietly

"Yeah Bells?"

"I don't know how much more I can take…" She said as she kissed my neck and sucked on it lightly

"you want it now?"

"Yeah… I do…" she mumbled. She pulled me to her lips and kissed me so hard on the lips I thought she might have hurt herself. I slipped my shorts off and threw them over into the growing pile of our clothes.

"I love you Jacob…"

"I love you too Bella." I said as I pushed against her opening she moaned delicately and I pushed inside her, taking her virginity with it. I moved slow until I knew all the traces of pain were gone I wanted this to be a good experience for her, so maybe just maybe I could change her mind… I knew I never would… but I could hope. She buried her hands in my hair and demanded my lips; I kissed her between her moans and gasps

"Ooh… Jacooob…" She moaned my name, that's how it should be. I moved inside her getting lost in the ecstasy of the feeling. I was close. But I wanted this to be god for her too. As soon as she was gone I was gone too. Lost in the sudden orgasm that pulsed throughout my entire body.

We lay on my bed in silence afterwards. She laid her head on my chest running her fingers over my stomach as I ran my fingers lightly over her thigh up to her stomach and back down. Her mahogany hair was spread out all over my chest. This is exactly what I needed. I loved this woman more than I had ever loved anything, I would do anything for her. But I would lose her in 13 days. But right now was perfect. I couldn't think of a more perfect situation. I couldn't think of one place I would rather be…

Author note….

I never put a A/N after… sorry guys. I think I'm only gonna write two more Chapters… so how do you like it all? Did you like the lemon… tell me everything you're thinking… REVIEW!! Please REVIEW! Next chapter coming soon!


	8. Chapter 8

I Screamed For You

****

In the Brightest Hour

Of My darkest day

I realized what is wrong with me

Can't get over you

Can't get through to you…

****

Chapter 8: Wait…

****

Author note… sorry… I annoy you… I know… I suck… 

I think that I may only have this chapter then a half a chapter…. But I'm not quite sure… after you read it… review and let me know if I should continue… 

She moved and kissed me on the neck lightly repositioning herself

"What are you thinking?" I asked breaking the silence

"Not much…" there was hesitation in her voice. I knew Bella more than anyone did and I knew that she was thinking about something important.

"Just spit it out Bella… this is the last time I'm probley gonna see you… so just tell me… you know you want to." I said teasingly.

"I'll tell you later."

"Why later?"

"Because if I tell you now it has no meaning…"

"Women…" I muttered bitterly I stroked her silky hair and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She didn't want to move yet so I wasn't gonna make her. We talked all day. About nothing in particular. I wondered when she was leaving aloud and she said she would leave when she felt it was nessicary. I knew that Billy wouldn't be home tonight he usually stayed the night at the Clearwater's when I wasn't home. Though he didn't know I WAS home. We talked about the treaty, we talked about the wedding. Though I didn't wanna really talk about it she told me about funny things Alice had done. I didn't like Alice, but I disliked her least, because she actually loved Bella, as much as a Lion could love their lamb. Bella seemed happy though. She still hadn't told me about whatever it was that she wanted to say… but it had no meaning yet… so I guess I didn't want to hear it yet.

"Jacob…" She muttered my name quietly…

"Yes Bella?" I asked

"You aren't gonna start doing that again when I leave right?" she said motioning towards my arm I had forgotten all about it.

"No… I think that this memory will be enough… I'll be able to remember you loved me…" I said as I moved a stray hair out of her eyes. A tear rolled down her cheek

"Ooh… don't cry Bella…" I said as I pulled her closer to me and ran my fingers through her hair as gently as I possibly could. She cried for about 30 minutes and I just held her close to me wiping her tears and murmuring reassuring words. Her phone started ringing suddenly

"Ignore it…" She mumbled. I saw the name on the caller i.d. it said **EDWARD **in pixel letters

"It's… Edward…" I forced his name through my teeth

She sighed and grabbed the phone

"Hello?" She said trying to act normal. An ashamed look over took her face

"Bella?"

"Yes… it's me Edward…"

"Alice wants to go shopping… she won't stop with her insisting"

"I told her another day… I'm with Jacob right now… this is the last time I might get to see him… please just tell her I have to be with him right now."

"I understand Bella… I'll bribe her with shiny things." He said it was obvious there was a smile plastered on his face

"Thank you Edward…"

"I love you Bella… take as much time as you need with him." He said sincerely before hanging up the phone. She put her little mood ruiner in her pants pocket which were still on the floor and moved close to me again and kissed me on the lips with an odd sense of urgency

"Make love to me again Jacob."

I was confused… but I wasn't gonna say no. so I moved on top of her and kissed her back matching her urgency, I didn't understand this new feeling that was overcoming her… but there was something…

As we moved together as one it seemed that Bella was thinking about something I stopped with a huff

"What are you thinking Bella… its killing me…"

"Don't stop…" she was serious. So I kept on. She entangled her fingers in my hair with the same urgency only something had resolved in her. She had decided something. I didn't care what it was… not now. She came without warning. And I let go and came with her. As soon as our moment was over I rolled onto my side and she rolled into my arms

"I love you Jacob…"

"I love you too Bells…"

"No I mean… I really love you…" she was confusing me now.

"Huh?" I said. I must have had the stupidest look on my face.

"I… I reconsidered… and I made a decision… I… I love YOU Jacob. I choose you… not Edward… you… forever. I want to be with you…"

I choked a little

"Wait… wait… I'm dreaming… yep. I'm dreaming… ha-ha real funny to give me false hope… Dammit… I've had pretty much this same dream…"

"No… you're not dreaming…your awake… and I want you Jacob… not Edward."

I laughed a sudden hysterical laugh. Just one. I felt like crying. I felt like jumping up in joy, I felt like hitting something, and I felt a little bit like fucking again.

"Are you sure? What changed your mind so suddenly?"

"You showed me something that I will give up with Edward. I will give up warmth, I will give up children. If I stayed human this experience would never be the same, and who knows what I would be If I was immortal… so I want you… I know you love me, and I know I'm safe with you, and I know I don't have to become something else for us to fit perfectly together… We Already do… so we were made for each other…"

"Is this what you were gonna say?"

"Yeah… it was… but it didn't have any meaning then… and now that I've decided. It has meaning."

I smiled

"Really?"

"Really Really." I smiled hugely

"Hold on…" I said as I stood up and did a total touchdown dance

"I don't think I could be any happier in life right now…" I said leaning in and kissing her

The phone rang again

"You answer." She said

"Ooh no, no, no…" I said putting up my hands innocently

"Well I have a feeling it's mostly for you…" she said handing me the ringing phone. **EDWARD** flashed over and over at me

I grabbed the phone

"Hello?"

"Hello Jacob… so… I have the sinking feeling that you have stolen my fiancée from me."

"I didn't do anything. She chose." I muttered

"So you won your little game… you manipulated her into having sex with you and now she chooses you because I wouldn't."

"Yep. That's about it… only I didn't manipulate her."

"Whatever you want to think… you played mostly a fair game… I will give up without a fight but only because that would upset Bella. Tell her I send my love and she can come over and get whatever she wants that she's left from my house." Then the line went dead. I smiled

"He's mad."

"I thought he might be… I knew that Alice saw my future disappear all together the 1st time he called."


	9. Chapter 9

Authors Note.

I AM SO SORRY YOU GUYS!

I bet you guys thought I had forgotten all about updating haven't you??

I don't have internet on my computer in my room where I write all of my stories and my mom is the only one In the house with internet and she's stingy with her computer so I have to use a jump drive to put all of my stories on Fan fiction and recently my mom took away my jump drive and so I haven't had any way to posting anything. So I am SOOOO sorry! I just got my jump drive back, after she lost it twice too. Lmao.

So I am so sorry and to make up for it I will post EVERYTHING I've written on this story! I hope you guys aren't disappointed… I know. I kinda suck. I feel soooo bad!


	10. Chapter 10

Url for my new myspace

Yes it is up and working right now, finished? No. lol but I do have a few previews up and I am readdy for adds!

www . myspace . com / kristaff_jeepers

add me up

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Wanna read sooner?! Add my MYSPACE! :D

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